Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The last first day of School...

As a Mom we find lots of things to get emotional about, seems like the older I get the more I cry...

I hear my Son (Chad Allen) say often "Mom really...are you gonna cry? Suck it up...REALLY MOM IT'S NOT THAT SAD!"

I can't help it, some things just get to me more these days.

Which brings me to my latest (at 7:15 this morning to be exact) melt down.

The last first day of School.

My boys are now older, Chase is 14 and in 8th grade. Chad and Kane are 15 and in 10th grade so the whole walking them into school thing on the first day of school would not be an option (they wouldn't even let me drive them to school this morning)
But Cassie Marie is still in Elementary School so she wanted me to take her and even ask me to walk with her to her classroom. Cassie is in 5th grade this year her classroom is located on the third floor, and as I climbed those steps I realized this is "The last first day of School" for me...with each step I became more emotional and thought I might have to have a melt down right in the hall way.
It was one of those fan your face repeat in your head over and over "don't do it, don't you dare cry." moments.
I spoke to Cassie's teacher told her to have a good day, and out the door I went...got in my vehicle and at precisely 7:15 while on my way to work cried..lots...

Yes, I know it's not like she graduated...
But there will never be another first day of school where I'm invited to walk hand in hand with my child...

Am I crying right at this moment you ask?

I guess as the years have passed I have learned to take more in, listen a little longer, talk a little softer, laugh more often.

It all passes by so quick.

I have no idea where the time went, but I know I sure am gonna miss "The last first day of School."



Lorie said...

Alright....all ready!!!!

Let's don't even talk about it. Chocolate! Grab the chocolate. My baby....ha....leaves for college on Sat. morning. So, that's all I have to say on this subject. :)

Anonymous said...

Do you ever stop and think how special you are to me? In so many ways when I am gone, I will still live on in you. Crying is good. Makes you stronger and "wiser". As the old saying goes, when life throws you lemons, make lemonade out of them. Life has dealt us all some low blows, but we still hold our heads up and go on. All and all, life is good>> don't ever think otherwise! ( and yes, I have tears in my eyes as I write this to you. Must be in the Mosby genes! ha)
Love you bunches and keep the blogs coming,
Aunt Pam

maria said...

Chocolate is a great idea...if I could just quit crying long enough..crazy emotional day..saving my tissue's for your next blog post..I know it's gonna be a tear jerker! Love you!

Aunt Pam,
Yes crying is good...not so good when your at work...no one in their right mind would let me cut their hair today (grin)
and yes life is good...it just goes by so fast! Love You!


Susan said...

As I drove home from work this morning at 730, I noticed that you were already at work. I thought to myself, "what in the world is Maria doing at the shop so early?". Now I guess I know! I too have been struggling with letting go. I am trying desperately to prepare myself that on Sat. morning, I will drive with my "baby boy" to school and he will stay there--TO LIVE--and I have to come home. I ask myself, have I prepared him and instilled the values that I hope he will follow. Tears are pouring down my face. It must be part of motherhood that I guess you don't realize until you are smacked right in the face with it. You are a wonderful mother and even though we have to let go a little bit on the outside, on the inside we still have that tight grip on them and I don't expect that to ever to away. LOTS of LOVE! :)

maria said...

Just so you know you made me cry this time...SWIM! That's all I can say my friend...I love you lots!


Anonymous said...

I remember the first "firt day" you wouldn't let me walk you to your classroom. Even tho I was only across the drive in the "white house" I still cried. Letting go is so hard, and I still haven't let go of you and your sister completely. Probably never will in this life!!
Love you bunches