Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The last first day of School...

As a Mom we find lots of things to get emotional about, seems like the older I get the more I cry...

I hear my Son (Chad Allen) say often "Mom really...are you gonna cry? Suck it up...REALLY MOM IT'S NOT THAT SAD!"

I can't help it, some things just get to me more these days.

Which brings me to my latest (at 7:15 this morning to be exact) melt down.

The last first day of School.

My boys are now older, Chase is 14 and in 8th grade. Chad and Kane are 15 and in 10th grade so the whole walking them into school thing on the first day of school would not be an option (they wouldn't even let me drive them to school this morning)
But Cassie Marie is still in Elementary School so she wanted me to take her and even ask me to walk with her to her classroom. Cassie is in 5th grade this year her classroom is located on the third floor, and as I climbed those steps I realized this is "The last first day of School" for me...with each step I became more emotional and thought I might have to have a melt down right in the hall way.
It was one of those fan your face repeat in your head over and over "don't do it, don't you dare cry." moments.
I spoke to Cassie's teacher told her to have a good day, and out the door I went...got in my vehicle and at precisely 7:15 while on my way to work cried..lots...

Yes, I know it's not like she graduated...
But there will never be another first day of school where I'm invited to walk hand in hand with my child...

Am I crying right at this moment you ask?

I guess as the years have passed I have learned to take more in, listen a little longer, talk a little softer, laugh more often.

It all passes by so quick.

I have no idea where the time went, but I know I sure am gonna miss "The last first day of School."